Hair thinning grief is a reality of hair loss that not everyone talks about. It isn't hair loss due to grief that we're talking about here, but rather the grief caused by hair loss.

When we lose something or someone we love, grief naturally follows. Since your hair has been with you your entire life, it is no surprise that a similar grief can ensue when someone starts losing their hair.

When missing your hair goes beyond wistfulness for the hair you used to have, a complex psychological cascade of emotions unfolds. While it may not be a person you've lost, when it starts slowly slipping away, you may experience the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

In this blog, we'll explore how grief surrounding hair loss moves through each of these chapters and how to get to the other side.

Hair Loss Grieving Examined

Why does hair loss affect a person so profoundly? According to an article published by the NIH (National Institutes of Health), "Some of the mild to severe symptoms of associated psychological problems with hair loss are: anxiety, anger, depression, embarrassment, decreased confidence, reduction in work and sexual performance, social withdrawal, and suicidal tendencies." [1]

It's no coincidence that these deep and personal emotions parallel the stages of grief.

Hair Loss And Self-Image

Why is hair so closely tied to identity? Hair is deeply intertwined with personal identity, youth, beauty, vitality, femininity, or masculinity. Society often equates thick hair with attractiveness and status.

Because of this, our hair has a lot to do with our personal self-concept— how we think, feel, and perceive ourselves. Hair loss frequently triggers a profound emotional response, causing individuals to feel like a fundamental part of who they are has vanished. Grief laps at the (thinning) edges of that disappearing act. Self-image and self-worth can begin to suffer as feelings of self-consciousness and embarrassment turn bad hair days into bad hair weeks, months, and even years.

Understanding the Mental Impact

What are the common mental health impacts caused by hair loss? A receding hairline or thinning crown can feel like a direct blow to one's self-esteem and confidence. The resulting preoccupation with hair loss can contribute to heightened social anxiety, avoidance of social events, and a persistent feeling of powerlessness.

The Stages of Loss

Is it normal to experience the stages of grief—such as denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—when losing your hair? Experiencing hair loss can mirror the traditional stages of grief. Acknowledging these emotions as a valid form of grief is a crucial first step.

Denial and Hair Loss

Ignoring those first signs of thinning usually starts with convincing yourself that the extra strands in the shower drain are simply your scalp "shedding its winter coat" or that the bathroom lighting has suddenly gotten aggressively brighter.

Why do people often dismiss hair loss as "just cosmetic" despite its emotional impact? Since hair isn't vital to our health or survival, people may tend to downplay the effects hair loss can have on our psyche. However, dismissing hair loss as "just hair" or just a cosmetic issue can add a layer of silent shame that prevents people from seeking support.

Denial is a potential part of the problem, as it can delay intervention and lead to more hair loss than necessary.

Anger and Hair Loss

Why do feelings of anger and resentment arise when seeing others with a full head of hair? Anger tied to grief from hair loss is an understandable emotional response. Feeling a lack of control as your hair falls out may elicit a sense of betrayal, as if your body is failing you. The frustration that follows is a common reaction.

Well-meaning comments from others or feeling invisible and self-conscious in public can intensify resentment. [2,3,4]

Bargaining and Hair Loss

You may be tempted to try all kinds of potential solutions if it means getting your hair back. Bargaining often looks like trying every absurd online remedy and promising yourself you'll eat well, exercise, get plenty of sleep, do headstands to increase blood flow — literally anything if it means getting your hair back.

Depression and Hair Loss

If you constantly feel sad, have little to no interest in activities you once enjoyed, or have no energy and can't sleep, you may be experiencing depression. Difficulty concentrating, making decisions, fixating on past mistakes, such as not using a hair serum sooner, and avoiding social engagements are additional signs of depression.

Now, whether this stems from hair loss is between you and your therapist. But if these symptoms began once you noticed your hair thinning, it is crucial to break free from this emotional spiral and address your well-being.

Acceptance and Hair Loss

What does reaching the acceptance stage look like, and how does it restore confidence? Recognizing the reality of your hair loss and finding a way to work with and manage it are important steps toward acceptance. This may mean acknowledging that hair in areas with completely dormant follicles cannot be recovered and accepting that not every type of hair loss can be treated. It's okay if you don't love what's happening with your hair, but to move forward, you must stop fighting it.

Are treatments and cosmetic options a form of empowerment? Letting go of the full head of hair you lost and intentionally choosing a hair care routine that supports your scalp and hair health can be exceptionally healing and empowering.

Once you've reached this stage and are out of the weeds, you can move forward on your mental wellness and hair loss journey.

Coping Strategies for Hair Loss Grief

From mental wellness to hair care, there are several things you can do to get a handle on your hair loss grief and reframe your outlook.

• Practice hair neutrality: Detach your self-worth from your appearance and acknowledge that the state of your hair does not dictate your value, intelligence, or character.
• Reduce obsessive monitoring: How can I stop obsessive monitoring, such as counting strands and avoiding mirrors or photos? Limit checking mirrors, counting fallen hairs, or avoiding photographs to break the cycle of anxiety.
• Call on your friends: How can I communicate the emotional toll of hair loss to my support system? Talking openly and honestly with trusted friends, family, or partners about how your hair loss is affecting you can help reduce its power over you and reduce feelings of isolation.
• Appreciate your strengths: Shift your mental energy toward your many positive attributes and assets and focus on the many positive things your body can do.
• Prioritize overall health: Move more, eat well, and get plenty of rest to support your mental and physical wellness, with better scalp health and confidence being welcome byproducts.
• Seek professional support: When is it appropriate to seek professional support, counseling, or therapy for hair loss distress? When distress around hair loss begins to affect your personal and professional life, a therapist or counselor can help you process the emotional toll and provide valuable tools to help you cope.
• Establish a haircare self-care ritual: Create a dedicated hair care ritual that targets your thinning while supporting your mental wellness. The act of daily self-care can help rebuild your emotional resilience, as well as the fullness of your hair.

While we don't pretend that a product can unwind the effects of hair loss on your psyche and DEKOHAIR definitely won't replace your therapist, using our science-backed hair density serum will certainly help. And it costs a lot less!

• Be gentle with the process: Practicing patience during the 3 to 6-month recovery period will be a vital coping strategy for you. As your hair fills in, your sense of self-confidence will gradually return.

Navigating hair loss is a deeply personal process, but with self-compassion and the right support, healing is entirely possible. Giving yourself space to process your hair loss-related grief will enable you to regain your confidence and a more positive relationship with your hair's appearance.

References:

[1] Dhami, L. (2021). Psychology of Hair Loss Patients and Importance of Counseling. Indian Journal of Plastic Surgery. https://doi.org/10.1055/s-0041-1741037

[2] Cash T F. The psychology of hair loss and its implications for patient care. Clin Dermatol. 2001;19(02):161–166. doi: 10.1016/s0738-081x(00)00127-9. [DOI] [PubMed] [Google Scholar]

[3] Hunt N, McHale S. The psychological impact of alopecia. BMJ 2005;331(7522):951–953. [DOI] [PMC free article] [PubMed] [Google Scholar]

[4] Napoleon Anthony. The presentation of personalities in plastic surgery. Annals of Plastic Surgery. 1993;31(03):193–208. doi: 10.1097/00000637-199309000-00001. [DOI] [PubMed] [Google Scholar]